THE AMERICAN TEA PARTY & ITS TEABAGGING AFFECT

Episode II

“The Trump Presidency”

By

Kim L Sellers

Some of my best friends are Tea Party goers (sorry, couldn’t resist).  They supported and voted for Donald Trump, they love to “teabag” each other (if they only knew); but then, maybe they do, and just enjoy humiliating the less than zealous party factions.

I don’t know, but I imagine they, also support the Biloxi, Mississippi, “Great Americans Day,” too.  Hell, why not, it’s a band aide to cover up (not heal) their humiliation and whitewashing, by MLK, and everything he’s celebrated for.  It’s their way of “teabagging,” the blackening of their culture and traditions, not to mention their Rebel flag, which has become a racist symbol, to the vast majority of Americans.

Now, the last remnant of southern glory, the “Rebel Yell,” is heard only at sporting events; and even then, lowly Clemson exacted revenge, with X-Acto Knife precision, against the vaunted Crimson Tide defense, and their Bill Belichick, copycat coach.  What is the origin of Crimson Tide?  A football ball game, of course, Alabama vs Auburn, 1907, ending in a 6—6, tie (a friggin tie!).   It’s derived from the red soil of Alabama, because when it rains?  Ah, the crimson tide.

            

Carnac the Magnificent, sent an opened envelope from Heaven, and it contained the following prophetic (pathetic?), predictions for the Trump Presidency: 

·    Democrats will impeach Trump at every opportunity, i.e., every legislative session.  The Republicans will claim, “foul.”  While, the Democrats will cry, “Remember Obama-Care!”

·   The Trump cabinet will resign, in a “Katy bar the door”, like panic.  Trump will nominate his family members to replace them.  He really won’t have any other choice.

 

·    One by one, all will resign.   Everyone, except Mike Pence.   Why would he?   He’s hedging his bet, that he’ll be the next President of the United States.  Be the next billionaire, play the Vegas odds.

·      Trump, recognizing Pence’s diabolical plan, will terminate his VP, in a Tweet: “You’re Fired.”  Pence will be banished to South Bend, Indiana, the armpit of Illinois.   In a later Tweet, Trump will accuse Pence of “tea bagging” him.  When he asks Melania if she knows what “teabagging” means, Melania blushes, “Does it have something to do with my boobs, Donny.”  Trump will respond, “Excuse me, dear, but I have to pee.”

·    Trump’s, proposed White House Reality Show will be canceled, not for poor ratings, but because, Trump will be in jail.  Chris Christy will defend Trump, because he’ll be out of work, too.

·     Black Lives Matter, will fall into disarray.  Rep. John Lewis will pick up its gauntlet.  The movement will be radicalized; and Trump will Tweet: “Sedition!”  Lewis will respond, “No, Democracy.”

·   Trump will announce a new, “It’s bigger, better, more fun; really, a lot more fun,” family board game.  Parker Brothers will sue, claiming, “Get Out of Jail Free,” is a copyright infringement.

·    Trump, will be stuck with billions of phony-paper-moneys.  To save face, he will resort to handing them out as souvenirs, to visiting dignitaries.  Tweeting: “My portrait, a copy of a really expensive portrait of me, is printed on them, making them priceless; really rare and priceless.”

Lastly, a special, Presidential election will be called, and Michelle will immediately email Hillary, “Bring it on, Bitch!”  Coincidentally, Rubio will Text a similar message to Christy.  

Trump (from prison), will Tweet: “Foul!  I mean, this is so foul, it stinks, stinks to high heaven.  I mean, it stinks so bad, that I’ve demanded to be released on my own recognizance.”  Shortly after the tweet, Trump’s cell phone will be confiscated by his Prison Warden.  Thank God!

COMING SOON: Who will win the Special Election and Why? 

Episode III, “The Trump Presidency.”

SPECIAL NOTE: Episode I, “The New Initialisms,” is also available at http://onemyth.blogspot.com